Wednesday, March 31, 2010

It's the tail end of March and time to start new projects while the invigorating Spring air urges us on to scale the higher peaks of our imagination. Today is grey, though and rainy- typical Spring, typical PMS weather. Not very inspiring, unless you are a tulip.

I have plans to keep eating less. The last few days I haven't and ended up feeling sleepy and sluggish. I really notice the difference in the way I feel when I stop before the high water mark, so for lunch I just had a chicken and tomato sandwich, with a bit of date square for dessert. To some that would be a hearty meal but for me that's usually an appetizer!

Tonight the Ruhi gals are going swimming after Ruhi but it'll be too late for me- 9:30 pm is too late to start anything. I have my tax refund back so I am considering spending some of it on Aquacise... It just scares me to spend that money just becasue I have it. I've already bought a bus pass and some office supplies, and am wondering about glasses- I should probably really think about getting some new ones, since my old ones broke... and I guess I could write it off as a medical expense... I'm just so cheap, I hate seeing money go out the door as soon as it comes in!

Time for a nap I think... the invigorating Spring air will have to inspire me later.

Monday, March 29, 2010

Man oh man. It's been a strange day in which nothing terribly much was accomplished. I ate ok but not great, managed to get a brief walk in and that's about it. I did a few little things that took up more time than they should have, and neglected some bigger things. I am too tired to tell you about them...maybe tomorrow...

Thursday, March 25, 2010

It's a sunny day in Metro and I am taking a break at the library before going off to my next event. It's been a day of coffee and croissants, meetings, an interview, and a darn good all day breakfast at Mary's Place Cafe. I switched the sausages for falafel and feel quite virtuous. They were yummy too.

I haven't had occasion to exercise much today. And now I am feeling sleepy- was it the carbs at supper I wonder? I should probably have had some tabouli salad but i never know what to order so usually go with what's cheap. There were many vegetarian/vegan offerings at MAry's which I will have to try soon.

I would rather be having a nap right now- but going to do a talk on creativty and mental health
May the sun shine down on your tent when you wake up in the morning, unzip the flap and stand naked on the shores of whatever island you've dicovered during the night...

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

My goodness. How time flies. Is it possible that I haven't blogged for almost a week? During which time I have eaten like a mad woman, exercised a little and written a good bit otherwise.

My swim passes are history so now I have to decide whether I will pay for aquacise classes. If I get money back from my taxes I might just invest in a new pair of glasses and some aquafit. I think the money I'll get back is something to do with the medical supplement... so it is fitting that I should use it to improve my health.

I have pretty much no more food in the house. My supper was some leftover rice and a can of baked beans, which to me is a yummy meal that I am pretty happy to eat, but I'll need to get some food for tomorrow. I do have bread and eggs and cabbage but that's about it! I'm out of staples like meat, tofu, cheese- my preferred soures of protein- and onions.

Cate is getting her proposal together for a healthy living/spirituality group. I hope she manages to get the grant, because I would like to participate in such a group. It helps to have some support from people facing the same challenges- overweight, low energy, overeating etc- and a forum to talk about things we can do to be a bit healthier, maintain or lose a little weight, etc.

I imagine it would mostly attract women but that could be good for those of us who participate!

Never underestimate the power of a small group of commited women to make a difference.

Friday, March 19, 2010

It's gorgeous, the sunshine, like a fine animal lounging in the grass. Today Michelle and I went for a swim... not a very big swim but enough to warrant a sit in the hottub afterward. Then I did a few minutes on the outdoor exercise machines... Couldn't pass it up on such a lovely day. I am pretty tired now and walking is a little painful and difficult. Thankfully dad has made supper which we will eat in no time (afte r his snooze)

I had a crazy honey nut O binge last night so skipped breakfast which of course one is not supposed to do. However my body seems relieved not to have been stuffed today. I had some wonderful pea soup and toast for an early lunch. That pea soup is powerful- comforting and wholesome. I feel good eating it.

Now I am looking out at the lake which is ice-free and blue as bleuberries. It'll be wonderful to swim in the summer. Cate asked if I'd like to try Chocolate Lake and I'm game but I can't imagine anywhere more beautiful than Lake Charles. There's nothing better than a dip in the lake on a sweltering day, or after mowing the lawn, or in the morning before anyone wakes up or in the evening when the sun slants sideways, turning the water gold. Can't wait.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

pea soup

I love the pea soup I made today, finally. With ham, onion, carrots and potatoes, it's a full meal deal in a bowl. I must remember to make split pea soup more often. If you eve have a ham bone you're not going to use I'd be glad to have it!

Today I overdid everything foodwise. I'm having trouble getting back on track with my food intake. However I am hoping Michelle will want to go swimming tomorrow morning... I should have gone to the outdoor exercise machines today but I was parched and really wanted to get home for a drink of water. Lately I've been getting dehydrated so i know I'm not drinking enough, and really need to invest in a proper water bottle.

This weekend at Naw Ruz there will be dancing, for which I am not really prepared. I hope I can sit quietly and watch instead of participating. I love to watch people dance and am not much a one for dancing myself, though I used to enjoy it when I was younger. It's strange to be middle-aged and to look back on those days, which were so unhappy, and to know that I may have wasted a lot of time being miserable.

yes to pea soup and dancing, if only in my dreams.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Michelle and I finally connected to go swimming. This morning around 8 I got up to the Sportsplex and we swam a few laps- probably no more than 10 or 12 but it was something. Then sat in the hottub for awhile, the best part of all! I didn't think I got much of a work out but when I lay down for an afternoon nap, I felt like I was getting a cold and my body didn't want to move. I attibute it to the chlorine.

Didn't get the pea soup made but still have plans for that. K gave me a big bag of split peas and I am determined to use them. Dad is making supper tonight so I'm going there... I have to walk a bit to catch te bus so I consider that my fee for eating at dad's.

I tried Jia Tsu's porridge made with soy milk. I have to say I am not a big fan of soy milk but I'm glad I bought some dates and nuts to make the porridge. I still need additional sweetner... I'm such a baby.

What I need right now is a cup of tea.... enjoy the sun!

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

The swim didn't happen. I got to the pool as the evening swim was finishing, due to a mix up reading the pool schedule. So my next date at the pool with Michelle is tomorrow morning. Instead of swimming today, i did my tazes, and it looks like I'm getting money back! Huzzah!

My eating is entirely off. To many carbs, ham and potatoes for supper with no other vegetables. I want to make pea soup with the ham tomorrow for lunch... I'll start when i come back from the pool and voila, it'll be done for noon.

Today was poetry class and it felt a little like a workout. Two and a half hours of critiquing is a bit much, but the writing exercise at home was fun... that's more like rock climbing in a gym with all the pretty coloured knobs and niches in a grey plastic wall. And you wear those shoes, those lovely little pixie sneakers, so you can grip with your toes! Yeah, that's poetry for you.

Elizabeth suggested I do exercises lying on my back that are similar to the ones I'd do in aquafit. I can't see that that would be much fun but I might give it a try, when I'm lying down. Or in the bath! is there such a thing as bath yoga? I just googled it, there is! I think I could get into that.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Today was not very work-oriented. After interviewing Jia Tsu and buying some homemade soy milk from her, I came home and had a big nap. Then it was off to do laundry, which is always a big job. I lugged the dirty clothes in my suitcase to the corner laundromat and then back again, wet to hang on my washing line and on racks in the house. That would be enough exercise for me for one day but I told Michelle I'd go swimming with her tonight! I am actually quite looking forward to it.

I don't know why I am so able to nap the afternoon away... maybe it's normal. It might be, though,that my carb intake is too high. My doctor said that I must be eating too many carbs becasue my cholesterol is so high when I'm not taking meds. I've been trying to cut back and have had some success with only eating unrefined whole grain bread and pasta, but find it difficult to reduce the quantities. I think I need to add more veggies and fruit in order to stick to a lower carb diet.

Jia Tsu says she has lowered her cholesterol just by eating porridge for breakfast, made from whole grains like oats and kamut, as well as dates and nuts and her own soymilk. This is something I want to give a try. Usually I eat porridge with maple syrup but I guess I'm going to have to put a stop to that! And buy some dates and walnuts. An expensive but tasty and healthy breakfast. I can hardly wait!

Sunday, March 14, 2010

It was a glorious weekend of sun and shining waters. My mum and I went for fish and chips and then a little walk at Clam Harbour Beach. Today we tried Peggy's Cove but it was too cold to go for a walk, so we came back to the city and I vegged for a bit, then went out with Michelle and Lisa to the Celtic Corner, where they had supper and I swiped a few french fries off Lisa's plate.

Now I am home cooking brown rice with tofu and veggies. An artery-cleansing meal I hope. Tomorrow Michelle and I agreed to go for a swim at the Sportsplex I am nervous about it because it's March break and I don't know how the kids will react to such a large woman as I am in the pool. But it will certainly do me good. It sounds as though Michelle enjoys swimming so I will follow her lead, and just try not to worry about the kidlets

My mother and I were talking about our eating and I was thinking how much pleasure food gives me. I don't plan to let my diet to go totally to pot ( like I did this weekend) but I have decided to enjoy what I eat instead of feeling guilty about it, and not to beat myself up. I have a feeling this is a better way to lose weight without the drastic dieting I used to engage in. I could be wrong- it could be that I don't lose a stick of weight this way... but at least I won't feel unhappy and oppressed the whole time either. This is an evolving attitude, and clearly I haven't got over my insecurity about how people react to my weight , but hopefully that will become easier with time.

I remember when I was thin doing aquafit and a women who was very overweight joined our class. I remember looking askance at her, but nowI am now that woman. I lift my glass to her.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Keep Moving

Today I finished the work I wanted to get done before going off to visit my mum on the weekend. It feels strange and not all good to be free of responsibilities, but I am lucky to have this flexibility and am used to putting up with feeling unsure of myself.

I have been neglecting my novel and my exercise regime so I think I will take myself to the library this evening to return 2 books and pick up one. A little walk will do me mounds of good. I tend to not make time for the things that are important, like writing my novel or exercising, not because I don't care enough but perhaps because I care too much. It's easier to do the work I do for other people because it doesn't inflame my perfectionistic streak the way working on my own behalf does.

It is a liability but also an advantage to have such a perfectionistic streak. I imagine it is true that on the flip side of liabilities there are often advantages . I will give that a little thought.

Today I had a bowl of cereal for breajfast, half a muffin with Dad, rice and lentils for lunch and spaghetti and cabbage for supper. I had coffee with S this afternoon, and we talked about dieting. I neglected to tell her I am not dieting but just trying to refain from eating like a starving hyena.

Well I must be off to the library... thank goodness it is close by, a good 15 or 20 minute walk there and back... It won't burn many calories but I'm mostly thinking it will help the pain in my legs to keep moving. Keep moving, the mantra of those who would rather sit on the couch staring into space. I know I would.

Monday, March 8, 2010

veggies from heaven

Do vegetables have souls? I can't help but think they are holier than us animals. They don't have to go to the basthroom for one thing, a lot like angels.

Today I bought some yummy Daikon and Shanghai Bok Choi at Pete's. I plan to stir fry them with tofu and soy sauce. Mushrooms are a good and tasty meat substitute, and the tofu and brown rice take care of the protein end of things. I need to get back on the wagon after a weekend of outrageous eating, and my lentil soup, now stew, has been holding out... I'll get one last meal out of it tomorrow

Jia Tsu told me today that she is translating a Chinese book about health and she wants to share the section on weight loss with me as well as to teach me some exercises. I am tempted to buy some weight loss tea from her but I think any old tea is probably helpful... somehow tea seems to have magical properties for protecting against cancer and lowering cholesterol.

I haven't been getting much exercise and have been feeling tired... something i must remedy now that the weather is so beautiful...may it continue. Tomorrow I'll be running around like a ding bat so will get a little exercise en route to the bus but that's about all...

WOnder how little Felix is doing? babies get exercise by flailing their little arms and legs around... their bodies when awake seem to always been in motion... William was like that anyway, always straining to stand up, to move around. Maybe his little brother will be a calmer, couch potato of a fellow. Maybe he'll take after his aunt.

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Well, I've eaten three cookies since breakfast, and feeling oversugared and tired. Got home from Bridgewater yesterday and slept all afternoon. Why does travelling make a person so tired? I know why too much sugar does. The high, then the inevitable low... no wonder I'm feeling like a nap before noon.

I've decided I don't have the money to take aquafit right now... My money is definitely spoken for. I hope I'll be earning more soon, and no doubt I will when a certain project gets off the ground...

Hoping to visit my nephew later today but first going to a deepening with Michelle K and T and maybe Lisa... That's why I need a nap right now! Thanks for reminding me.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

baby baby

Kristine and I got our exercise today putting out her many bags of garbage from her move. I also cleaned the bathroom which always takes way more out of me than it should, but I am glad it is presentable now so if people want to visit they can at least go pee.

The baby hasn't come yet, we're waiting for the baby... what else is new? In the meantime. I'm making the most of being home, trying to clean and figure stuff out. Like whether to cancel my workshop in Bidgewater, if the snow will be bad tomorrow. If it goes ahead I'll have to order pizza for the lunch. Pizza has become one of the wonderful perks of doing these workshhops, along with the cookies and muffins or cinnamon rolls, stuff I don't buy much of when I'm home. But I do try to be moderate about it...

Last night was Dairy Queen with Todd and a Peanut Buster Parfait. Oh my sweet Lord. I am not losing any sleep over losing weight as you can see. Stll I'm feeling a bit more svelte than I was... that comes with smaller portions and especially fewer carbs. I am getting to like the slightly empty feeling I have right now, although my hunger is a little like a voracious dog tugging at its leash. Somehow the hunger is not interfering with my head room yet, so I'm just going to make the most of it!

Well I'm off to try to update my website... wish me luck.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Yesterday I was still recovering from Kristine's move and also did some housework and laundry at dad's which tuckered me out. That was my workout for the day. Today I've walked to Alderney Gate and back twice, complete with pins and needles, and I'm still feeling like I'd like to get some out some more, maybe to Two If By Sea to try out my old laptop.

Tonight Todd's coming to get me so I can treat him to Dairy Queen for his birthday. I intend to have something decadent like a peanut buster parfait(TOdd's favourite) or a blizzard... With that In mind I didn't oder sweets anywhere I went today although I was tempted.

My book Migration Songs has been nominated for the Dartmouth Book Award for fiction. It's official now that I'm on the shortlist, along with George Elliot Clarke and Linden MacIntyre. I'm pretty sure I don't have a chance! But feel pretty darn good to be named in such company.

Well off to do the social networking thing... gotte tweet myself up!

Monday, March 1, 2010

The day is warm and the sun is trying to poke out of the clouds. I am going to my father's to do some laundry- my reward for getting some writing done today. Kristine treated me for breakfast this morning after yesterday's last bit of moving, so we had a little walk, Moffats to Lawtons and back and on the way home there were terrible pins and needles in my feet. I was wearing sneakers instead of my thick-soled boots which is probably the reason for the pain.

Yesterday Leslie and Nemat had an Ayyam-i-ha potluck at their home and I ate way more than is humanly neccessary, of the yummy rice and Ceasar salad, chicken, curry and the rest. Still I'm not doing too badly...

It occurred to me the other day that I really don't need to feel badly for being fat. If I want to get healthier, fine, and more power to me, but I should also work on accepting myself as I am... and really one can only change by accepting one's self.

If I can get time on the outdoor exercise machines today I will... I feel the need to stretch and puff. Exercise is good for my mood, and that can only be helpful in this journey to better health and happiness.