CBC's departing science guy Pat Senson says that funny movies might make us eat more... I have to remember that and maybe watch some horror movies.

I ate a bunch of spareribs tonight- they were fairly inexpensive at my Free range meat source at Casa Roma this week. I used some yummy bbq sauce on them and baked them in the oven... mmmm. Not exactly diet food but not bad- they were fairly lean

Aquafit today was great- much more my speed than the one on Monday night. The Wednesday morning class with Bob seems to be more about working the various muscle groups than about getting a cardio workout. For me it's plenty cardio too and I know my body has had a workout when I finish. I was so tired I napped all afternoon.

Tonight there's a 9th day of Ridvan celebration and there's bound to be food there. I hope to be moderate about it. I didn't have breakfast before aquafit then about noon Kristine and I went to Two if By Sea and had croissants- Proscuitto and cheese for her and almond for me... can't imagine anything better than a croissant from TIBS ...it's a heavenly meal... and the coffee is so great there. Somehow I feel it's ok to eat a croissant a week. I better consult my doctor about it.
Better yet, will consult my shrink, who is more likely a kindred spirit on questions of food...

Last night of poetry class. Some sadness involved. But it is good when things end and we go on to something else. Change feels good, as though the world is new again. I can't get enough of the feeling of possibility.

Today was a weird kind of day food-wise. I did ok until Kemi's art opening where I had two pieces of cake. Poetry class felt like exercise but really I am going to do aquafit tomorrow and nothing more today except for my physio exercises.

Monday night's aquafit made me feel sick. I was working too hard and really need to keep a slower pace from the very beginning, because I think it could be bad for my heart to push it. I think if i just keep moving for the duration of class that's good enough.

Now I am yawning over my keyboard . Off to bed soon after a cup of tea...

It's a terrible thing to admit. I've totally given up on my diet. Hoping to start with a more sensible approach to eating tomorrow. Isn't that always the way?I just can't have stuff in the house because when I am weak I just go mad over sugar, meat, fat and all the unhealthy stuff. I also need to practice being hungry again. For awhile it was a positive thing, but how quickly I go back to my old habits.

Cate cooked some wonderful meals at her parents' cottage yesterday. We cooked, ate, lounged, and did a little of this and that, mostly soaking in the sun and a little goal setting. None of my goals involved losing weight, getting healthier. All of them were focussed on getting a cottage in the country like Cate's. I realize it's something I need to document, this weight loss thing. Also that my tendency is always to drift back to my old ways.

I was reading some quotes about steadfastness and assistance with tests in the Baha'i writings. Perhaps prayers can help me in my quest for healthier habits. I have no doubt that they could work, it's just up to me to be steadfast in my efforts. I need to keep always in my mind the possible negative outcomes of continuing on this self-destructive path. I don't want to have a stroke or die of diabetes or heart attack, but I can see that it would not be that much of a surprise. I hope you'll send me some good vibes to start me on my way...

It's off to aquafit this morning. I'm still aching from Monday night's class. That was a great workout, a lot of cardio. I had to take it slow- I was getting a feeling almost like nausea and that's how I knew I was working too hard. Today's aquafit is a little less strenuous and more about the stretching. It's great to have two different kinds of classes to go to.

Last night was the Entrepreneur of the Year awards! All the nominees, including me, gopt a bunch of neat stuff from the the Entrepreneurs with Disabilities Network. It was a great event and a special evening. I had a table next to Kristine and we both sold stuff, her cards, and me books.

It's the first day of Ridvan today and there's a wonderful sweet feeling in the air... It's a day of no work, so I am going to enjoy it! First aquafit, then coffee. I need to make a few phone calls and then the day is mine! I may treat myself to a croissant for breakfast, though I truly should not. Still, eating special things is part and parcel of Christian holidays so why not Baha'i ones?
But I could make a better choice. maybe a bagel with low fat cream cheese...

It's sunny and gorgeous outside... happy first day of Ridvan everybody!

It's been ages since I've blogged, sorry about that. This week was Atlantic book awards week and it's been a busy time, exhausting and wonderful.

My eating has been the pits. McDonald's here , sausage on a bun there. At least I didn't eat a Dairy Queen Blizzard for breakfast like I wanted to one day. Today I made a beef stew and have eaten two thirds of it for one meal... it's a little mind blowing. At least it 's mostly vegetables.

Exercise has also fallen by the way side but I'm hoping to pick it up again tomorrow night at aquafit class. Somehow this week has just been a buzz of craziness, punctuated with adrenalin rushes, fun stuff and naps. Cate gave me a nice meal of soup and salad yesterday before my last reading of the week. She is a great example to me of someone who has successfully changed her eating habits, and who is passionate about making healthy choices.

I don't know why I want to eat the wrong things. Too much meat and carbs- like a typical male- and too much sugar, which I think of as a female failing. Stil, these days I would mostly rather eat savoury stuff than sugar, with a fair amount of veggies... so maybe i'm on the right track, I just need to control my portions better. And that just involves discipline, which I have precious little of when it comes to food.

My salt and vinegar chip craving which I escaped for a month seems to be creeping back.
I will combat it by cooking with tomatoes, which seems to satisfy that acidic tooth I have.
May I have better luck tomorrow...

It's the eve of the Atlantic Book Week, and I predict there will be lots of excitement, opportunities to eat too much wonderful food and little opportunity for exercise. Maybe that's just wishful thinking. Actually I will be missing an aquafit class, which makes me kind of sad, but hopefully I'll make it to the Wednesday one.


The exercises the physio has given me are a bit taxing -hard on the stomach- but that's the point I guess. I've been forgeting to use a stool when I'm on my computer or to put a pillow between or under my legs when I sleep. I do feel that the more exercise I do the better... and that I can walk through the leg pain better when I've done more stetching and other exercise.

My mind has been on other things, not on my health. I felt like celebrating today so brought Haagen Daz and strawberry tarts to Kristine's. She made some lovely asparagus, fish and chips for supper, and I went and added dessert on the end of what was already a good meal. I realize every day that I say, I will watch what I eat tomorrow, is a lost day. It's strange, as though I just forget my good intentions... they're swept out of my mind by hunger, greed, stress, fatigue, craving, boredom, excitement, and habit. Habit is the big one I think. I need to hold my health always in front of my mind, like a carrot in front of a donkey. Make that a cream puff. There I go again.

I did it. Bit the bullet and signed up for two aquafit classes a week. First one is tomorrow morning... I'm looking forward to it. Hopefully Michelle will be up for the late start- it's 9:30- 10:30 am. Now to get my eating on track- it wasn't too bad today though I did eat a while package of kraft dinner for supper ( with asparagus). That's basically as nutritious as a piece of styrofoam I imagine.

I also went to my first physio appointment. The physio assessed me and gave me some exercises which seem to make sense. I am glad to have someone else watching out for me and my legs... hopefully it'll make a difference. She wanted me to do a back health class as she thinks it'smy back that's the problem- sciatic pain in both legs caused by too much curving of the spine. COuld be right... we'll see.

The new year for family pharmacare has rolled around which meant I had to pay for my meds today. Scary stuff. But with the reassessment of my deductible and co-pay, I will be paying much less than I would have had to otherwise. Thank goodness, or i'd be broke paying for my meds. As it is I will probably struggle a little... sigh. But I will buy glasses and I will try to make some more money this year than I did last year... to overcome the shortfall . Sigh. making a living is a fulltime job ! :)

Off to poetry class tonight. I am happy that I figured out what to do with my poem though I think perhaps it's only a start! Now if I can figure out what to do with my health. At least I'm spending some money on it... that shows I care, right? I plan to be ready health-wise to go to China in the fall... Beijing look out!

Wow Easter dinner at mum's- always worth waiting for. Leg of lamb, veggie- asparagus, snow peas, broccoli, cauliflower, mushy peas, potatoes and sweet potatoes ( mum knows how to do veggies like nobody's business.) When we got to mum's my blood sugar was low and I gobbled up a lot of cracker and pate and cheese and carrots and celery. I'd only eaten a piece of toast for breakfast and a scone for lunch, but I overdid it on the appetizers. Then dessert rolled around- trifle by mum and two pies that Ping and I brought. We could have stayed til midnight eating. William did well on his veggies with constant coaching by his parents and threats of no dessert. He gobbled the trifle and chocolate eggs from Andrew and Greg... he'll turn into a Quon one day and will enjoy both the sweet and the green.

I did a few stretches today and I think it will help my legs if I keep doing them. Dad and I walked a good distance the other day- well, from my place to the waterfront and around a bit of the trail and back home with a sit at the ferry terminal and lunch at May Gardens. Not a long walk but not a bad one, and with stretches halfway, probably not as painful as some. It's still a major problem though and hopefully physio tomorrow will help.

need a bed time snack- yes even after that easter dinner! Thanks Mum!

Well it was a beautiful day today- I spent much of the afternoon with Mary's kids, sitting outside and watching them play. Got a little exercise but not too much... not like the old days when I'd run around with them.

Mary's eldest daughter has come upon an interest in cooking, healthy eating and exercise. Strange how much she is like her mother in that respect. I hope she can introduce a few more veggies into her sister and brothers' diets. Mary is not fond of cooking, so if her children enjoy making meals so much the better!

I ate too many carbs today, but did better than yesterday. There's lots of food in the house so I won't go hungry, that's for sure! lots of veggies. My pot of pea soup is still going, might have to freeze some of that. My vice today was a bowl of cornflakes with honey and walnuts.It's a vice because I'd already eaten more than enough carbs, but also because it's practically dessert!

Well tomorrow may be better. I'm banking on getting out into the sunshine and doing a little more walking than usual... if my legs will take it.

I realize very few people are reading this blog but that's the way I want to keep it, especially since I have fallen off the wagon foodwise. Tonight I ate almost half a pound of cashews. That's a few too many. I put it down to the fact that I didn't really have lunch or breakfast, just a green tea muffin at the MuLan Chinese cultural centre. I always overeat in the evening when I haven't eaten enough, or the right combination of things, in the day. Well let's face it... I tend to overeat at night all the time, but I was doing very well at the beginning of this blog...

I wish I could get out and walk but my legs don't permit me to for very long... this is a big problem, and make sme sad, because walking used to be my freedom, especially when the weather starts to change for the better, as it is now. Thanksfully I have physio soon, and hopefully I can get a handle on the problem in case I do make it to China after all.

Not much to report today... just the same old issues. I pat myself on the back for not eating the ginger cookies I bought to take to kristine's tomorrow. I guess I need to make an effort to remember the positives...