It's a terrible thing to admit. I've totally given up on my diet. Hoping to start with a more sensible approach to eating tomorrow. Isn't that always the way?I just can't have stuff in the house because when I am weak I just go mad over sugar, meat, fat and all the unhealthy stuff. I also need to practice being hungry again. For awhile it was a positive thing, but how quickly I go back to my old habits.

Cate cooked some wonderful meals at her parents' cottage yesterday. We cooked, ate, lounged, and did a little of this and that, mostly soaking in the sun and a little goal setting. None of my goals involved losing weight, getting healthier. All of them were focussed on getting a cottage in the country like Cate's. I realize it's something I need to document, this weight loss thing. Also that my tendency is always to drift back to my old ways.

I was reading some quotes about steadfastness and assistance with tests in the Baha'i writings. Perhaps prayers can help me in my quest for healthier habits. I have no doubt that they could work, it's just up to me to be steadfast in my efforts. I need to keep always in my mind the possible negative outcomes of continuing on this self-destructive path. I don't want to have a stroke or die of diabetes or heart attack, but I can see that it would not be that much of a surprise. I hope you'll send me some good vibes to start me on my way...