Well it's about time. I finally made my lentil soup, just in time for what feels like a sore throat and cold coming on. Soup is more precious than gold for a cold. Mine is made with chicken broth from a boiled half-chicken, canned tomato, green pepper, onions and of course lentils. Some cumin, chili powder and salt. Very tasty and so good for my throat! Kristine also gave me two cans of chicken noodle on sale at Lawton's so I am well supplied.

Last night was movie night with the Noveltech ethics series. Little Miss Sunshine is a wonderful film about an almost unbearably dysfunctional family that comes together over the death of the foul-mouthed grandfather and the breathtakingly inappropriate performance of young Olive at a sickening child beauty pageant. It's so much fun that it's easy to forget there is a message there, about winners and losers, and the stories we tell ourselves about what it means to succeed. Among them is the story about a woman's need to be beautiful. At one point Olive's dad tries to tell her that she'll get fat if she eats icecream, and that beauty queens aren't fat ( clealry he hasn't heard of plus sized pageants). But near the end of the film, Olive hears from Miss California that her favourite icecream is chocolate something or other which is technically frozen yogurt. Olive walks away with a contented smile, having confirmed that one can be a beauty queen and still enjoy a treat once in awhile.

It's true that we judge other people as winners or losers on the size of their waistlines and of their pocketbooks. I have to remember when I look in the mirror, and see a fat woman staring back at me, that I have not changed since the moment before I looked in the mirror, that I still have the same number of accomplishments, and that my worth is no less than it was a split-second ago when I had forgotten I was fat.

Still and all, I'm trying to lose the weight that has begun to affect my health. By trying, I am already a winner, according to Little Miss Sunshine. And if I succeed, clearly I'll also be a loser. If, as is my hope, I lose half of me, I'll be healing the whole of me. If that's confusing, try some chicken broth and a good head rub... or a small bowl of icecream. You'll feel better when your brain freezes.