It was a glorious weekend of sun and shining waters. My mum and I went for fish and chips and then a little walk at Clam Harbour Beach. Today we tried Peggy's Cove but it was too cold to go for a walk, so we came back to the city and I vegged for a bit, then went out with Michelle and Lisa to the Celtic Corner, where they had supper and I swiped a few french fries off Lisa's plate.

Now I am home cooking brown rice with tofu and veggies. An artery-cleansing meal I hope. Tomorrow Michelle and I agreed to go for a swim at the Sportsplex I am nervous about it because it's March break and I don't know how the kids will react to such a large woman as I am in the pool. But it will certainly do me good. It sounds as though Michelle enjoys swimming so I will follow her lead, and just try not to worry about the kidlets

My mother and I were talking about our eating and I was thinking how much pleasure food gives me. I don't plan to let my diet to go totally to pot ( like I did this weekend) but I have decided to enjoy what I eat instead of feeling guilty about it, and not to beat myself up. I have a feeling this is a better way to lose weight without the drastic dieting I used to engage in. I could be wrong- it could be that I don't lose a stick of weight this way... but at least I won't feel unhappy and oppressed the whole time either. This is an evolving attitude, and clearly I haven't got over my insecurity about how people react to my weight , but hopefully that will become easier with time.

I remember when I was thin doing aquafit and a women who was very overweight joined our class. I remember looking askance at her, but nowI am now that woman. I lift my glass to her.

Keep Moving

Today I finished the work I wanted to get done before going off to visit my mum on the weekend. It feels strange and not all good to be free of responsibilities, but I am lucky to have this flexibility and am used to putting up with feeling unsure of myself.

I have been neglecting my novel and my exercise regime so I think I will take myself to the library this evening to return 2 books and pick up one. A little walk will do me mounds of good. I tend to not make time for the things that are important, like writing my novel or exercising, not because I don't care enough but perhaps because I care too much. It's easier to do the work I do for other people because it doesn't inflame my perfectionistic streak the way working on my own behalf does.

It is a liability but also an advantage to have such a perfectionistic streak. I imagine it is true that on the flip side of liabilities there are often advantages . I will give that a little thought.

Today I had a bowl of cereal for breajfast, half a muffin with Dad, rice and lentils for lunch and spaghetti and cabbage for supper. I had coffee with S this afternoon, and we talked about dieting. I neglected to tell her I am not dieting but just trying to refain from eating like a starving hyena.

Well I must be off to the library... thank goodness it is close by, a good 15 or 20 minute walk there and back... It won't burn many calories but I'm mostly thinking it will help the pain in my legs to keep moving. Keep moving, the mantra of those who would rather sit on the couch staring into space. I know I would.

veggies from heaven

Do vegetables have souls? I can't help but think they are holier than us animals. They don't have to go to the basthroom for one thing, a lot like angels.

Today I bought some yummy Daikon and Shanghai Bok Choi at Pete's. I plan to stir fry them with tofu and soy sauce. Mushrooms are a good and tasty meat substitute, and the tofu and brown rice take care of the protein end of things. I need to get back on the wagon after a weekend of outrageous eating, and my lentil soup, now stew, has been holding out... I'll get one last meal out of it tomorrow

Jia Tsu told me today that she is translating a Chinese book about health and she wants to share the section on weight loss with me as well as to teach me some exercises. I am tempted to buy some weight loss tea from her but I think any old tea is probably helpful... somehow tea seems to have magical properties for protecting against cancer and lowering cholesterol.

I haven't been getting much exercise and have been feeling tired... something i must remedy now that the weather is so beautiful...may it continue. Tomorrow I'll be running around like a ding bat so will get a little exercise en route to the bus but that's about all...

WOnder how little Felix is doing? babies get exercise by flailing their little arms and legs around... their bodies when awake seem to always been in motion... William was like that anyway, always straining to stand up, to move around. Maybe his little brother will be a calmer, couch potato of a fellow. Maybe he'll take after his aunt.

Well, I've eaten three cookies since breakfast, and feeling oversugared and tired. Got home from Bridgewater yesterday and slept all afternoon. Why does travelling make a person so tired? I know why too much sugar does. The high, then the inevitable low... no wonder I'm feeling like a nap before noon.

I've decided I don't have the money to take aquafit right now... My money is definitely spoken for. I hope I'll be earning more soon, and no doubt I will when a certain project gets off the ground...

Hoping to visit my nephew later today but first going to a deepening with Michelle K and T and maybe Lisa... That's why I need a nap right now! Thanks for reminding me.

baby baby

Kristine and I got our exercise today putting out her many bags of garbage from her move. I also cleaned the bathroom which always takes way more out of me than it should, but I am glad it is presentable now so if people want to visit they can at least go pee.

The baby hasn't come yet, we're waiting for the baby... what else is new? In the meantime. I'm making the most of being home, trying to clean and figure stuff out. Like whether to cancel my workshop in Bidgewater, if the snow will be bad tomorrow. If it goes ahead I'll have to order pizza for the lunch. Pizza has become one of the wonderful perks of doing these workshhops, along with the cookies and muffins or cinnamon rolls, stuff I don't buy much of when I'm home. But I do try to be moderate about it...

Last night was Dairy Queen with Todd and a Peanut Buster Parfait. Oh my sweet Lord. I am not losing any sleep over losing weight as you can see. Stll I'm feeling a bit more svelte than I was... that comes with smaller portions and especially fewer carbs. I am getting to like the slightly empty feeling I have right now, although my hunger is a little like a voracious dog tugging at its leash. Somehow the hunger is not interfering with my head room yet, so I'm just going to make the most of it!

Well I'm off to try to update my website... wish me luck.

Yesterday I was still recovering from Kristine's move and also did some housework and laundry at dad's which tuckered me out. That was my workout for the day. Today I've walked to Alderney Gate and back twice, complete with pins and needles, and I'm still feeling like I'd like to get some out some more, maybe to Two If By Sea to try out my old laptop.

Tonight Todd's coming to get me so I can treat him to Dairy Queen for his birthday. I intend to have something decadent like a peanut buster parfait(TOdd's favourite) or a blizzard... With that In mind I didn't oder sweets anywhere I went today although I was tempted.

My book Migration Songs has been nominated for the Dartmouth Book Award for fiction. It's official now that I'm on the shortlist, along with George Elliot Clarke and Linden MacIntyre. I'm pretty sure I don't have a chance! But feel pretty darn good to be named in such company.

Well off to do the social networking thing... gotte tweet myself up!

The day is warm and the sun is trying to poke out of the clouds. I am going to my father's to do some laundry- my reward for getting some writing done today. Kristine treated me for breakfast this morning after yesterday's last bit of moving, so we had a little walk, Moffats to Lawtons and back and on the way home there were terrible pins and needles in my feet. I was wearing sneakers instead of my thick-soled boots which is probably the reason for the pain.

Yesterday Leslie and Nemat had an Ayyam-i-ha potluck at their home and I ate way more than is humanly neccessary, of the yummy rice and Ceasar salad, chicken, curry and the rest. Still I'm not doing too badly...

It occurred to me the other day that I really don't need to feel badly for being fat. If I want to get healthier, fine, and more power to me, but I should also work on accepting myself as I am... and really one can only change by accepting one's self.

If I can get time on the outdoor exercise machines today I will... I feel the need to stretch and puff. Exercise is good for my mood, and that can only be helpful in this journey to better health and happiness.