Today and A couple days ago, I began what I hope will stick as a healthy habit. I walked for about half an hour, with a break about half way to give my leg pain a rest. It's fine when there is a bench or a wall or some steps to heave my butt on to, but it's not ideal when it's just road or grass...

Time was when I could walk an hour with my dad no sweat. Well I mean I did sweat but I could do it no problem. I was just tired at the end, not in pain. These days the pins and needles comes first then a kind of sickening cool burning pain ( hard to describe) in a line down my leg. Calf pain and thgh pain happens in there somewhere too. But half an hour as I said seems doable, with a sit down.

I haven't been doing the exercises that the physio prescribed but they didn't help anyway, so not sure whether it would be useful tocontinue. I sometimes hope I will be walking one day and the pain will have vanished like a ghost. Just like that, if I keep walking... but as long as I don't walk, it will linger, a phantom hungry for my pain.

I am going to cook a roast pork, potatoes and rapini... So yummy and reasonably healthy... Ruhi is tonight so my spiritual appetite will be satisfied too!.

Last night I danced oen song at Julie's wedding. " We are family". It was great fun and I am sorry to have left early... it was the first time I've danced in forever, and it made me remember those nights with Beata at Cabbagetown. Oy vay, or as the Chinese say, Aiya... my lost youth!

well it wasn't a bad day foodwise or exercisewise- three meals and a few minutes on the outdoor exercise machines. no napping til a brief lie down after dinner at dad's... i still hope to increase my walking though it's no fun when it's painful....

It's way too hot even though outdoors the temp is very reasonable... it's the humidity I think, the kind of weather that makes me weak in the shoulders.. I need a drink and then I will stop craving something i think. The leftover watermelon from the bbq is all gone= what a heavenly delight it is when chilled, on a hot day. Really there are so many pleasures offered by the natural world,,, God has thought about just about everything! Except how to keep us from indulging in them. Oh yes! He did create religion... that should help!

Today I slept most of the day, tired from yesterday's BBQ at my Dad's. I must have gone up and down his stairs 20 times, and today my body called it quits. I am still aching and now I'm yawnig- ready to go back to bed at 8 pm!

I had a bit of a binge this past week... eating way too much sugar. I'm not sure why but it does seem to happen from time to time that my eating blooms out of control and I consume more sugar in a week than I have the month before.

It's been ages since I used the outdoor exercise machines... during the day it's just too hot and I haven't got there in the evening. Something to think about for the fall. I really wish I could walk more... I feel quite shackled by the leg pain, but a few days ago, Sheila and I walked the board walk in Eastern Passage, which is about a kilometre long, before my legs hurt too much to go any further. I wish I could walk anywhere, like I used to, without pain.

Dad is pretty amazing- he walked an hour or so before the bbq yesterday and today another hour and a half- no lounging in bed with a body ache for him! I wish to follow his example...

By gum, I haven't written here for more than a month!
Time flies like a fish, but it's time to get back to it.
Apparently I have lost 14 pounds and almost 3 inches at the waist since January when I started taking metformin. My weight does fluctuate but I hope this is a sign of better things to come. I haven't been working hard on it... maybe if I do I'll lose more.

I have applied to do a writing residency in the Czech Republic. I hope I can manage it! Well i hope I'm accepted to it first. Am still working on the leg pain, which is worst when standing around- walking is better. My physio decided I didn't need to see hre anymore and she's likely right... it didn't help much... I think losing weight and keeping orthotic insoles in my shoes are the key to painlessness. But I might get my mum to try another Bowen treatment on me...

It's been a long time since i did any exercise... too long. I need to go out for a walk...

Well, I decided not to go to Beijing... there were too many what ifs. I was afraid for my health, worried about the pollution and crowds and not sure I could deal with the challenging phsyical environment. I was agonizing over my decision but I think it was a good one. I hope I haven't just turned down the chance of a lifetime...

I think I might have lost a little weight lately... I seem to be doing better with the walking... it also helps me to keep my focus up, somewhere above my head, or really, on Baha'u'llah. Then I don't notice the leg pain, or my legs don't hurt- one or the other. Still I find I want to sit down a lot if I've been walking, and I don't have as much energy as only a year ago...

I missed the powwow today- I really wish I'd got to it. Maybe tomorrow. Hopefully William got there and was able to see the Indian dancers. That would have been magical.

Summer is here and Dad's garden looks lush and lovely. I hope he comes home soon and I can cook the rest of the supper... pork and cabbage a rice...

Today was a weird day. I was too tired to care if I was being dumb or difficult or anything. I saw an old friend, her partner and their babies, and we went for a walk in the beautiful shadows of an almost summer evening.

There was a program on Ideas tonight about the "ocean mind" of whales and dolphins. Most of it I didn't hear but it made me want to stop eating animals of any kind. If I am to become a real vegetarian, I will have to invest in some spices and sauces and a variety of veggies. I think I can do it, but if I go to China I wonder if that will be another story.

My legs still hurt me when I walk any distance. A friend who just came back from China told me I should ask whether the apartment the residency wants to put me in is up several flights of stairs and if there is grocery shopping nearby. She is absolutely right that I should ask these things! I was afraid to ask these things.

It's time for bed. Monday I will try to call the residency office, and ask all my questions.

Aquafit has come and gone for this week, and I still have a cough and no desire to get into a cold pool. I ate a package of cheesies that was meant for my study group, which was cancelled for today. So much for restraint.

I was feeling very stiff while house-sitting for Soonya and Ian, but seem a bit better today... I did a little walking to and from the bus, and felt pretty ok. I am not doing enough to get my legs in gear for China if I end up going, but I am trying to walk a little more at least.

It's almost dark and somehow I feel as though the day has gone by without me. At least I didn't order fries for lunch- instead it was falafel, tabouleh and curried rice at Mary's cafe. I longed for Sheila's ceasar salad and Susan's greasy breakfast when I saw them. I guess it doesn't do much good to practice restraint at lunch and the eat a whole bag of cheesies for dessert...

Tomorrow is another day...