Well, I decided not to go to Beijing... there were too many what ifs. I was afraid for my health, worried about the pollution and crowds and not sure I could deal with the challenging phsyical environment. I was agonizing over my decision but I think it was a good one. I hope I haven't just turned down the chance of a lifetime...

I think I might have lost a little weight lately... I seem to be doing better with the walking... it also helps me to keep my focus up, somewhere above my head, or really, on Baha'u'llah. Then I don't notice the leg pain, or my legs don't hurt- one or the other. Still I find I want to sit down a lot if I've been walking, and I don't have as much energy as only a year ago...

I missed the powwow today- I really wish I'd got to it. Maybe tomorrow. Hopefully William got there and was able to see the Indian dancers. That would have been magical.

Summer is here and Dad's garden looks lush and lovely. I hope he comes home soon and I can cook the rest of the supper... pork and cabbage a rice...

Today was a weird day. I was too tired to care if I was being dumb or difficult or anything. I saw an old friend, her partner and their babies, and we went for a walk in the beautiful shadows of an almost summer evening.

There was a program on Ideas tonight about the "ocean mind" of whales and dolphins. Most of it I didn't hear but it made me want to stop eating animals of any kind. If I am to become a real vegetarian, I will have to invest in some spices and sauces and a variety of veggies. I think I can do it, but if I go to China I wonder if that will be another story.

My legs still hurt me when I walk any distance. A friend who just came back from China told me I should ask whether the apartment the residency wants to put me in is up several flights of stairs and if there is grocery shopping nearby. She is absolutely right that I should ask these things! I was afraid to ask these things.

It's time for bed. Monday I will try to call the residency office, and ask all my questions.

Aquafit has come and gone for this week, and I still have a cough and no desire to get into a cold pool. I ate a package of cheesies that was meant for my study group, which was cancelled for today. So much for restraint.

I was feeling very stiff while house-sitting for Soonya and Ian, but seem a bit better today... I did a little walking to and from the bus, and felt pretty ok. I am not doing enough to get my legs in gear for China if I end up going, but I am trying to walk a little more at least.

It's almost dark and somehow I feel as though the day has gone by without me. At least I didn't order fries for lunch- instead it was falafel, tabouleh and curried rice at Mary's cafe. I longed for Sheila's ceasar salad and Susan's greasy breakfast when I saw them. I guess it doesn't do much good to practice restraint at lunch and the eat a whole bag of cheesies for dessert...

Tomorrow is another day...

Woe is me- I spent much of this beautiful day inside and in the name of keeping my sister's cat company, I continue to stay indoors. Still I did get out for a walk around the duck pond with Jan and her dog Mandy, and that was wonderful. It was also good for my cold to be in the sun, since i seem to have picked up a little extra virus yesterday on top of my first cold. Woe is me.

I managed to get my grant application finished and just have a couple questions Monday before I send it off. I hope beyond hope that I will get some money to help me get to China in the Fall. I am also thinking to get a new laptop computer sooner rather than later to take with me... my desktop pc was infected with numerous viruses and I had to get them cleaned out. I empathize with my computer, seeing as how we've both come down with a bug, but the cd drive isn't working very well so I wasn't able to reinstall my printer drivers... and it's hard to operate without a printer.

I had the last of my chicken-veg curry and rice for supper and dessert- some butterscotch chips and a cookie. I'm finding it very hard to give up the sweets.

so tired- gotta nap

I'm feeling so sleepy- it's the cold, and the sun, and my abbreviated last night's sleep. I'll take a nap before I go to catch the bus to the valley this afternoon. Dad's coming to take me out for lunch and I'm lusting after a burger and fries. Perhaps I will be able to restrain myself.

I've started doing the physio exercises again... they're harder than they were since I haven't been doing them for a couple weeks at least. My eating has been reasonable- I haven't had a lot of appetite since I've been sick, or rather it's been more limited, which has been a good thing.

Aquafit's been down the tubes for three weeks- hopefully this week coming I'll start again. I'm so tired right now all I want to do is sleep...

Gotta get ready for dad...

Today I did not set foot outdoors. I did not get washed or dressed or comb my hair. I ate, drank, slept, stayed glued to internet and radio and read a little. It was a beautiful day but I missed it, because of being sick. But thank goodness, I feel so much better than Saturday, when I started the antibiotics.

Mum brought me a pot of stew which I have been eating all day, and some banana bread with chocolate chips. I have been drinking tea non-stop, trying to keep the tickle out of my throat, because that tickle starts me coughing, which is painful. I am taking seriously the "rest and drink hot drinks" advice that comes with every cold. I have been through enough colds to know, it just gets worse if you push yourself.

But tomorrow I intend to get up in the morning and do a few more normal things. Work on my novel, maybe. Put out the compost. Make some calls. Definitely bathe and dress. I'll even clean up a little,
Exercise seems a far away idea... but I might do a bit. I'm a wimp but even a wimp gets bored of sitting at home trying not to cough,

Well I'm sick but getting better thanks to modern medicine and medication in Middleton. My GP had told me I needed an antibiotic but that was before she looked at my throat or listened to my chest! So I refused them, But yesterday, sick as I was, I went with Mum to the Valley for an event in Paradise. I ended up goign to the walk in clinic in Middleton and was prescribed an antibiotic by a nice doctor there and got it at the Pharmasave. I took it and overnight my sore thoat was gone, though my cold symptoms have persisted. They may clear up soon too. Thank God for the wonder of drugs and for our medical system, which may have shortcomings but which has given me great care when I've most needed it.

Needless to say my exercise regime has gone out the window- both the aquafit and the physio exercises. My appetite is coming back and thanks to my lovely mum and dad i have had healthy foods to soothe my throat. Dad brought chicken broth and turkey necks to make turkey broth. Mum's bringing stew tomorrow. I feel very blessed!

Time for another pill...